Like a moth to a .......... Dumbass?

So a girlfriend called last night looking for some advice. Seems as though there are two gentlemen who are interested in her but she's having a tough time making a decision. One, is really nice and the other.......a dumbass.

Now, while the choice seems obvious (pick nice guy), why is it that we even find ourselves debating these things? I believe it is because we secretly hope that we have the skills to exorcise the dumbass out of them. Jesus was able to walk on water but I don't think even he had that sort of power.

And guys are just as bad. I have witnessed with my very eyes a guy pick a total bee-yotch over a girl who was sweet, pretty and kind. And then spend the rest of the relationship complaining about her. Dumbass.

So perhaps we're all just moths. Instead of being draw to flames we're drawn to dumbasses. The only New Years' resolution that I made was to be dumbass free in 2012 and so far, I'm successful. Granted it's still January but I'm 26 days in. That has to count for something. Perhaps there should be tokens available like there is in other recovery programs.

And as for my girlfriend, I told her to pick the nice guy and not let the dumbass take up any more real estate in her head. And I'm guessing that once she does that, he'll start pursuing her even harder.

Cause that's how dumbasses roll.

Tweet #21 - Ghetto Family Feud

This morning while I was in the gym, the channel the TV was tuned to was showing what looked like Ghetto Family Feud. Now before you get on your PC high horse, the reason I say that is that one of the first commercials I saw was for a class action lawsuit against 'Tippy Soup Containers'. So if you've burned yourself with spilled Mr Noodles, you can sue.

I rest my case.

Bambi On Ice

This morning I woke up to snow on the ground. I'm beyond thrilled. It's pretty easy to be thrilled by a snowfall when you don't have to get in a car and drive anywhere. Don't get me wrong, I've maneuvered that Camaro in some pretty interesting conditions with great success. It's all the other morons out there that are the problem. But that's not the topic of todays' blog.

As I was staring out the window at the snow covered seawall, I happened to notice two brave souls out jogging. I must admit I was very impressed. I could only imagine if I were to attempt such a daring feat. While I can guide a car through ice and snow with ease, guiding myself has proven to be problematic. My ex-husband used to call me Bambi On Ice. While it may sound cruel, it really is an accurate description. I've sky-dived, para-sailed even rode the 'Flying Fish' in Bali yet walking down a snow covered sidewalk is my most daring endeavor.

And don't tell me that 5" heels are not appropriate footwear in the snow. They're brilliant. All you do is dig that heel in and go.

Let it snow!

Random Thoughts: An Interactive Blog

I pose a question.....

Which do you think would have more success.....Hitting on the guy doing a diaper run or the guy on the beer run?

Discuss.

Bed Hog

I've gotten used to sleeping alone in my king size bed. Even though I tend to keep to one side, it's nice being able to stretch out when the mood strikes. Here in Italy, I have to share a bed. It's not so bad most nights but occasionally I feel my sleep space being encroached upon. I don't mind the warm body pushed up next to me or even having the covers pinned down. The snoring is what bothers me the most.

But I just don't have the heart to kick him out of bed. Would you?

High Heels and Cobblestones: Italian Driving Rules

I recently came across some observations that I wrote 8 years ago when I first moved to Italy. Surprisingly (or not), most are still valid today. So I thought I'd share some of these orginal stories. I've called this collection, High Heels and Cobblestones because like those two items, Italy and I sometimes don't work well together.

Italian Driving Rules

Driving in Italy is a daily adventure. Each day when I’m out I see something new and absurd done. I’ve stopped being shocked and surprised. To help any future travelers, I’ve compiled a list of rules. I’m sure these will help you make sense of the Italian roads.

#1. If your car fits you can go there

#2. If your car doesn't fit, you can still go there

#3. Just because your lane does not have a dotted white line down the middle does not mean it's not 2 lanes

#4. Signals????? Obviously a North American concept. Except in LA

#5. If you drive anything 2 wheeled, you can go anywhere you want. Traffic laws do not apply to you.

#6. Stop signs. A roadside decoration of no real purpose.

#7. Passing. Solid white line, dotted white line, yellow line. They are just a guideline. Kind of like in video games.

#8. If you see someone you know, feel free to stop to say hello. Pulling off to the side not required.

#9. If, while driving, you intersect with a one way street, and your destination happens to be behind you, feel free to turn left then throw it in reverse and punch the accelerator until you find a parking spot. On-coming traffic, or in this case, rear-coming traffic will adjust.

#10. If you and your buddies desire to have an impromptu game of soccer, feel free to play where ever you like. Major roadways need not be excluded as the traffic will adjust

Luxury Dog Tax

The economic woes of various European countries has been a news staple for the last few months. Italy has recently made some major changes to their political landscape and the country's economic state is causing many to worry. So what can a stuggling economy due to bolster its coffers? Tax dogs of course.

One of the economic measures being proposed is to place a tax on 'luxury dogs'. You are probably asking yourself (as I did) what is a luxury dog? This has yet to be properly defined but the best guess would be a dog purchased from a breeder versus one picked up at the humane society. The logic here is, if you can afford to spend the money to purchase one of these dogs and care for it, you're obviously making too much money and you should be taxed. This tax is on top of the licensing and registration fees you already pay for your dog.

In a country where abandoning your pet is common place when you go on holiday, this is the worst idea possible. As it is, many Italians just abandon Fido and Puss Puss before going on vacation. They can't be bothered to find accomodation for their animals while they hit the beaches so they just set them free. Can you imagine what will happen if this tax is actually put in place? Pampered pooches will be left to their own devices. Scenes from Beverly Hills Chihuahua are running through my head (don't judge me, I was on a plane when I watched it).

Animal activists are already up in arms about this and rightfully so. I suggested that all one had to do is take their pet to the humane society and put it up for adoption then go back the next day and adopt them. They would then have paperwork stating that they got their dog from the humane society instead of a fancy breeder.

Just doing my part to help out our furry four-legged friends.