I have a nemesis. My nemesis is an espresso machine. Now I don't even know if an inanimate object can be a nemesis but for the sake of arguement (and this post) let's say it can. Now there isn't anything actually wrong with this espresso machine, it makes perfectly fine coffee. The problem is that they've put this machine in my winebar. That's right, MY winebar. Why is this a problem you ask? Well, I'll tell you. Everytime I'm back there trying to get anything done ( and in the last few days there were many things to get done) I'm constantly interrupted by someone wanting a coffee. And, even though I politely explain that I'm not responsible, I get attitude. Major attitude. I'm a Sommelier, not a barista. On Saturday night, Casa Italia hosted a dinner for various members of the local Italian community and other guests. There were over 140 people seated for dinner. It was established prior to the evening that myself and my wonderful wine assistant Jana, would be responsible for the winebar then wine service at dinner. We would not have to deal with Mr Espresso. Fine. After being run off our feet trying to provide very excellent wine service, we went back to the winebar area to collect our things. At this point, the crowd present was then expecting us to make coffee. Again we politely explained that we were not baristas. The next morning, upon my return, I encountered one of the ladies who is present daily at Casa Italia. I have no idea who she is or what she does. She is making herself a coffee when I arrived and after I cheerfully said good morning, she turns to me and gives me this major attitude about the fact that I didn't make coffee for her last night. Pardon? First off, I don't even remember speaking to her, secondly, it wasn't my responsibility to make the damn coffee. And lady, if you're that irritable, perhaps you should be cutting back anyway. And while you're at it, get rid of the menstrual red runners, they're not attractive.
Now I'm really pissed. I've had enough of this nonsense and take matters into my own hands. I head out to resolve this espresso issue once and for all. I will not be spoken to in such a manner when I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. I let the powers at be know that there needs to be an official espresso person present during the day. They agreee but make no motions to find one and just tell me to because apparently I'm also a walking classified section. Fortunately, I did have a lead on someone and made the call. I'm happy to report that within an hour, I had found our new barista and she starts this morning. I will no longer have to deal with Mr Espresso, at least during the day. After dinner, I will turn into a barista.
The wine bar area isn't very big and between the wine glasses and all the damn coffee cups, it was impossible to handle. Executive decision #2 of the day, get rid of the coffee cups, saucers and spoons. They can drink their coffee in the small paper Illy cups provided of which we have large quantities of and use stir sticks. Perfect. I move all the coffee cups into storage. The sun is starting shine again over my wine bar. The actual owners of the machine arrive and agree that this is a good idea and that they will send a person to train our new barista. We all agree to not have any milk handy so cappuccinos are not going to be available. This shouldn't be a problem as I didn't have any requests for any. Spoke to soon. There was one gentleman yesterday who kept asking for milk, just a drop for his coffee as he wanted a macchiato. I told him politely that we did not have milk and we weren't getting any. No good enough obviously because he came back not even an hour later with the same request. He didn't look mentally challenged but I guess looks can be deceiving. I even had one gentleman on the Saturday night ask me for a package of coffee. I told him all we have is large tins of beans which then get ground. He then asked if I could give him a bag of ground coffee so he could make coffee in the morning. Buddy, you're in Vancouver. There is a coffee shop every 10 feet (I think it may be a city ordinance, but I'm not sure). There are more coffee places side by side here than in Italy. You don't need to make coffee in your room. I told him if he found a bag I'd give him coffee. Never saw him again.The deal with the after dinner coffee is that the guests go to the bar and get it themselves. Last night, one of the dinner guests was the head of the Italian sports federation. One of his minions came over asking us to bring him coffee to the dining room. Really now. And, it was determined that a paper cup was just unacceptable. Well, guess what, the cups are locked in the storage room and I don't have a key. So, since I couldn't find anyone to unlock the door, (I did try), Mr Important got his coffee in a paper cup. Which I delivered on a tray, and apologized for it being in a paper cup. He was actually very nice and from what I could figure out later, it wasn't him that wanted the super special service, it's whoever's kissing his butt that wanted to get princess points.
And then there's the person that wanted camomille tea. I won't even go there.
Update: Less than 30 minutes after posting this entry I got a call saying that the girl we hired as barista showed up and left after 30 minutes. This proves that an inanimate object can be a nemesis.
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